What's Your Happy Ending?

The Assertive Cancer Patient asked this of a group of cancer bloggers, and we're responding with our experiences. I'm honored to be included; feel free to comment with your happy ending if you, too, have experienced cancer.

I've spent the last three days taking temperatures, going to doctor's appointments, picking up medicine, pushing fluids and making comfortable.

I'm perfectly healthy; I'm doing this for my husband and son, who have H1N1 and are really suffering with it. I'm happy to be well enough to run things and, hopefully, speed the family to recovery.

Not so long ago, they and other family members were helping me out as I worked my way through 14 months of treatment for breast cancer, which was aggressive because I'm young.

I'm still in the middle of reconstruction, so surgeries aren't over, and checks to make sure nothing comes back are permanently on my calendar. I can't rule out more treatments, but I'm hoping/praying/assuming we won't have to go there. But if we do, we will.

So, for now, I'm looking at a long, happy future with my husband and son. Even though the house is sick now, I know the clouds will part and we'll move on to the fun stuff again.

It's easy when you're in the middle part of life to let work and raising kids and bills and worries suck too much energy.

My happy ending is to not let this happen to me or my family.

I want to find the balance between planning for a long future and enjoying the hell out of today. I want to learn to live with the fear that I might already know what will kill me without waiting for the other shoe to drop, because maybe it never will.

I don't want to lose too much of my life to worry, and I want to teach my son that, too. This will be tough because I'm a worrier, and I've actually been given something to really worry about.

At the same time, I want to be prepared to act if I have to. For me, that means having a cancer follow-up plan that I can trust. I don't have that yet, but I'm working on it. They don't teach you how to do this in college, but I know enough to know what I need so I will ask until I get it. I want to teach my son that too--to be prepared and look out for yourself.

I will count myself the happiest woman in the world if I get to help my family through their illnesses, share in the countless good times I know we will have and figure out how to skate the space between now and forever, because I want them both.