Anniversaries

This month I celebrate being cancer free for three years. This past August, my husband and I celebrated 10 years of marriage.

Each is an accomplishment, and taken together, they are a sign that my little corner of the world is doing pretty well.

Getting a big disease like cancer can wreak havoc on a marriage. A statistic I saw recently said spouses are eight times more likely to leave if this brick comes through the window.

It's a big deal, no doubt, and I see now why it's included in traditional marriage vows.

I'm just very happy we've defied the odds. I think it helps that we were friends for many, many years before we got married. Honestly, I have trouble remembering a time before L. was in my life. Just as it seems like I've been a mom to S. forever.

Cancer has come, and hopefully gone, but it has changed our lives forever. Sometimes I think it's moved us ahead on the continuum of coupledom. It's like we're much older than we actually are and have covered so much more ground than we actually have. I feel we're like my grandparents and older than my parents in some ways.

It's a weird feeling, but a good one in that I know L. gets it. He gets that we will always have to worry about having insurance for the family. He gets that I am not crazy when I wonder aloud about ailments I've noticed. And he'll push me to get things checked out, because he wants me around for the family as much as I want to be around for them.

This all brings me to having my wedding ring redone recently--the original didn't fit after I gained weight from cancer treatment.

I could look at this new ring as just fixing more of the collateral damage, but I've decided to see it as a marker of what we've been through and a promise of many more beautiful miles to explore--together, as a family.